Family Reunions

Copyright © 2008
Gallup Independent
By Roy Howard
Special to the Independent

This summer I have been particularly aware that many families are scheduling reunions. We save our money for a long trip. Our children meet their grandparents and cousins briefly, then we return to our own homes. Family relations have not always been like that.  For most of the history of the earth, extended family members lived within 25 miles of each other. The migrations that  began in the 16th century broke family lines, as oceans and continents made visits and even letters home very difficult. The 20th century introduced means of transportation and communication that mitigated some of these problems. The dawn of the 21st century sees us all with handheld devices that allow instant daily contact, potential tools for restoring family ties. My family uses web sites and e-mail and cell phones to communicate preparations for an efficient gathering this weekend at a cabin resort. Plenty of networking and socializing events are organized to get us reacquainted. Major projects to gather and share stories of our common ancestors have got us working together for months, resulting in a product we can share with our grandchildren and future grandchildren.

"Coming together as extended families can help us understand who we are and give us opportunities to influence each subsequent generation for good."

    I am always moved to tears at the joyful reunion in Egypt of Joseph with his brothers and his father (Genesis 42-45). Jacob was worried about his reunion with Esau, but his long estranged brother received him graciously (Genesis 32-33). Jesus warned that following him might cause family divisions (Matthew 19:29) but cautioned all to honor their parents (19:19). One of His last acts was to be sure that His mother was cared for (John 19:26-27). The patriarchs of old blessed whole clans (Deuteronomy 33); but in the last days much of world distress is caused because “the love of many shall wax cold” (Matthew 24:12). The hearts of the children must be turned to their fathers, or the whole earth is cursed (Malachi 4:6). The Lord promised to restore families and give them one heart (Jeremiah 32:37-41). Family reunions can help by giving us a perspective of who we are, establishing relationships of trust, giving opportunities for stories that teach, and building inter-generational networks.

The great effort of the Navajo Nation, along with the churches and other agencies, is to to help families return to the traditional values that include each member of the family accepting and acting in their respective responsibilities.  In traditional times, the father would build a house and keep it supplied with food and protection, requiring him to be gone for extended times in the hazardous profession of hunting and gathering. The mother accepted the responsibility of home ownership, weaving, food preparation, and child rearing. The children learned by watching adults and being with them, with grandparents, uncles, and aunts exerting influence across the generations. The long internment at Fort Sumner and the boarding schools were designed to teach Navajos to change to an agricultural lifestyle that did not match the reality of their environment. The traditional role of the men was taken away, and many women set boots out by the door, and tried to raise the children alone. Children were taken away from home into boarding schools where they were surrounded by other children. They could no longer learn by watching adults. A return to traditional values would require marriages to be “like planting seeds of life and love, so the couple will live together for the rest of their lives. The love between the couple will grow throughout the years as they live together. They will bring new lives into this world as they become parents and later as grandparents”(Johnson Dennison).

Children should learn their adult family roles by being part of a healthy family lifestyle. Children learn to pray as their parents gather the family together daily (D&C 68:25, 28). Fathers should lead by persuasion, gentleness, love, and kindness (D&C 121:41-44). Mothers create a home environment where worship and love prepare children for the difficulties of life (Alma 53:16-23). Children should honor and obey their parents and avoid contention (Exodus 20:12). Harmony in the home is a goal worth working toward as each member of the family accepts and fulfills their respective responsibilities. Coming together as extended families can help us understand who we are and give us opportunities to influence each subsequent generation for good.

When my children were young I kept moving about, trying to raise them close to their relatives, but nobody stayed long.  It is still hard to live near family in the 21st century, but it is possible to stay in touch. In my family reunion, I am sure to benefit from my brother’s love and instruction, but what I really want is for my grandchildren to know him and his grandchildren. They will be better prepared for the challenges of life when, like Joseph and his brothers, they can learn to know and strengthen one another.

Roy Howard is the president of the Lupton Branch of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He can be contacted at (505) 722-3389.

This column is written by area residents, representing different faith communities, who share their ideas about bringing a spiritual perspective into our daily lives and community issues. For information about contributing a guest column, contact Elizabeth Hardin-Burrola at The Independent: (505) 863-6811 ext. 218 or lizreligion01@yahoo.com.