Couple living with HIV to speak about sex, love, commitment

By Elizabeth Hardin-Burrola
Staff writer

GALLUP — Who would knowingly want to marry someone who has been diagnosed as HIV-positive?

Rick Wise was in his mid-20s when he faced that agonizing decision. He had long before made the personal decision to remain sexually abstinent until marriage, and he was on the verge of proposing to his girlfriend, Barb. But at about the same time, Barb had a confession to make. Not only had she been involved in a series of sexual relationships since she began college, she had also just been diagnosed as being HIV-positive.

Faced with that emotionally charged situation, Wise did what perhaps few other people could do: he offered his girlfriend his unconditional love and support, and he remained steadfast in his commitment to marry her. He stood by Barb as she broke the news of her illness to her family members, and he told his own family of the situation when Barb was too frightened to face them in person.

Wise’s rock-solid foundation of love for Barb led to their marriage in 1993. It also became the foundation of WiseChoices, Inc., a nonprofit organization the couple has since founded with the goal of encouraging youth make healthy choices in regard to the high risk behavior of teen sex. Using their personal story, the couple promotes sex within the boundaries of marriage as the healthiest choice with the purpose of reducing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancy, and emotional pain.

Rick and Barb Wise, of Littleton, Colo., will be the featured speakers at several upcoming local events. They will make presentations at the Gallup Crisis Pregnancy Center’s 25th Anniversary Fiesta Celebration on Oct. 6, the Wise Choices Youth Rally at El Morro Theatre on Oct. 7, and at several area high school assemblies. Tickets for the 25th Anniversary Fiesta Celebration are $15 per person and must be purchased in advance by Wednesday, Sept. 26. See accompanying schedule for details.

Through very frank presentations about sex and HIV/AIDS, the Wises also educate their audiences about the importance of forming healthy relationships and making wise choices about their sexual behavior.

“As we walk people through the reality of living with HIV/AIDS (telling my family and Rick’s family, facing my sexual past, taking piles of pills, managing side-effects from drugs, deciding not to have children, riding emotional roller-coasters, fearing rejection, etc.), we also offer a picture of a relationship able to endure,” writes Barb Wise on the couple’s Web site.

Barbara Leslie, the director of the GCPC, believes the Wises have a message that’s relevant to local people. In addition to having high rates of teen pregnancy and births to single mothers, she said, Gallup and surrounding communities have high rates of sexually transmitted diseases, particularly syphilis and HIV/AIDS.

“It’s important to encourage... all ages to think about their sexual behavior,” Leslie said in a recent interview. “HIV is not a big city disease,” she added. “It happens here and on the reservation.”

The GCPC is most known for its free pregnancy tests and confidential peer counseling. However, it also offers post-abortion stress counseling, prenatal and parenting classes, and a school curriculum program that encourages area students to make wise relationship choices.

“We’d like to encourage people to make a single, lifelong partner commitment,” said Leslie. Relationships without that commitment are easier to walk away from, she added, and don’t provide needed stability for children. Leslie believes that couples who do make a commitment to a single, lifelong partner ensure greater physical and emotional health benefits for themselves and their children.

Information: Gallup Crisis Pregnancy Center, 120 S. Boardman Dr., between the hours of 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Business line: (505) 722-7125; Helpline number: (505) 722-3445; e-mail: gcpc@haidernetworks.com and Web site: www.gallupcpc.com.