The fairy tale continues?
For local couple, three times is the charm

By Elizabeth Hardin-Burrola
Staff writer

GALLUP — When it comes to love, three times is a charm for JoNell and Charles Becenti.

To those who don’t know them well, the Becentis looks like a typical, happily married couple with three kids, two jobs, and a mortgage. But JoNell and Charles know differently.

They are happily married, but their love story has been like a journey on a long road — full of ups and downs, struggles and blessings.

Their romance began more than 18 years ago when the couple began dating in their junior year at Gallup High School. Charles Becenti was a tough jock who played football, basketball, and baseball. His girlfriend, JoNell Ward, was a cheerleader.

“He was cocky,” recalled JoNell in a recent interview. “That was the word to describe him.”

Everything went well until January of their senior year. That’s when JoNell became pregnant — an event that turned her college plans upside down. She made the decision to stay in Gallup, where she could attend UNM-Gallup and receive baby-sitting assistance from her parents and siblings. The following September, she gave birth to son Ryan, now 16.

Ryan’s birth, however, didn’t change Charles’ life nearly as much. He moved to Phoenix to attend Arizona State University, and he saw JoNell and Ryan when he could. The couple tried to stay together through the separation, but after about two years they went their separate ways.

Looking back, both JoNell and Charles admit that their youth and immaturity were huge factors in their break-up. And although JoNell made the decision to stay in Gallup and raise Ryan, Charles admits that was not something he was willing to do at the time.

“It takes a lot of giving to have a child. Sacrifices,” he said. “I can honestly say I wasn’t there.”

Charles continued to see Ryan when he could, but admits he felt “lost” during that time and felt something was missing from his life. Eventually, those feelings led him back to JoNell.

Although they were now in their early 20s, the reunion was short-lived. The problem again, JoNell and Charles agreed, was their shared immaturity. They broke up a second time and went their separate ways for several more years.

Charles dated a number of women that JoNell describes as “fru fru girls” with perfect hair and make-up. According to Charles, they were the kind of girls who never expressed a preference for what they would like to eat or what movie they would like to watch. Charles said he found himself missing JoNell, a woman with strong opinions just like the strong women he loved in his own family.

JoNell, who came close to marrying someone else, found herself missing that connection she had always felt with Charles. “I never found my comfort zone with anyone else,” she explained. “I can be myself with him.”

“Round Three” — as JoNell jokingly describes it — began once the couple reached their late-20s and Charles was back in Gallup. The turning point, JoNell recalled, was a day when she was feeling ill and Charles was returning Ryan to her house. Charles called her first and offered to bring her some food. That thoughtful gesture was followed sometime later by an invitation to dinner. That was followed by a movie date.

After about a year of dating, the couple decided to finally get married and become a family. Next month they will celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary, and after years of just having Ryan, the couple now has two daughters, Chaylee, 3, and 1-year-old Brenna.

JoNell and Charles agree that their marriage has benefited from their adult maturity. Charles also credits his wife for the strength she demonstrated during her years as a single mother.

“She’s done so much for myself and my son,” he said. “I would always say I owe my wife.”

He also credits JoNell and the birth of their daughters to developing a more gentle side to his personality.

“I’ve become a lot more soft,” he admitted. “I’ve become a lot more emotional.” After years of sharing “manly” activities with Ryan, Charles said he’s learned to enjoy playing with Chaylee and Brenna, who are already interested in things like lip gloss and fingernail polish.

“It’s been a journey,” JoNell said of changes the couple has experienced over the past 18 years.

“It’s been a long road,” agreed Charles. Once a reluctant teenage father who wasn’t ready for marriage and children, Charles said he’s now a man who is willing to make needed sacrifices for his family. Describing himself as blessed, glad, and thankful, Charles said he’s also a husband who tries to show or tell his wife every day that he loves her.

A friend once gave the couple a card with the inscription, “The fairy tale continues ... ” That’s a bit of an exaggeration, admitted JoNell, who said she and Charles have their problems like any other married couple.

She prefers a more realistic saying. “We’re still a work in progress,” said JoNell, adding, “We’re definitely blessed.”